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Interpreting Personal Abuse

Richard Millington
Richard Millington

Founder of FeverBee

There are two ways to interpret personal attacks, one of them is a lot healthier than the other.

The bad way is internalising the criticism (accepting the criticism is accurate and valid) and try to change your ways to receive less abuse in the future.

This isn’t sustainable. You’re placing your self-worth in the hands of an abuser and you’ll need to perform linguistic acrobatics to avoid upsetting them in the future.

The better way is to recognise those who give abuse are typically in a lot of psychological pain.

They may have unresolved issues or are going through bad times. Giving abuse is their mechanism to feel better about themselves.

Something you’ve said or done might have triggered them, but the fuse and kindling has been in place for a long-time.

For sure, ban abusers if you need to. But try not to accept the abuse as accurate or valid.

The abuse you’re receiving is far less about what you’ve done and far more about who they are.

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